


The Loss of Brotherhood

by AceGrace



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU, Green Arrow (Comics), The Flash (Comics), Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Brothers, Complete, Depression, Dogs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Mentioned WallArt, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Post-Canon, Sad, Season 2 End Spoilers, The Arrow Family, The Flash Family, bat-family, batclan, batfamily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-05
Packaged: 2018-02-11 21:22:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2083590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceGrace/pseuds/AceGrace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His parents aren't the only ones Dick Grayson has lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Loss of Brotherhood

**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to their specific owners. Please enjoy the story.

**January 16, 2008**

This was the day we met, he and I. I was about eleven years old. He was thirteen or fourteen, can’t really remember. Bruce and I had left Gotham to pursue Lady Shiva after she had killed some of Gotham’s not quite good but not really bad public icons. You know, a news anchor here, a rich widowed lady there, a mob boss all the way over in the corner probably. All the usual targets that all the cowards preyed on. Shiva apparently had very little against the people she had rather mercilessly skewered with her sword. Whenever I asked Bruce what her reasons were he wouldn't say. Shiva had become one of the villains he wanted to help, like Two-Face or Harley. She, for whatever reason, had helped him back on his feet, helped him train after Bain broke his back. In his mind there was good in her, somewhere. In my mind however she was just another killer that we would hopefully be locking up.

Eventually the chase lead us to Central City. Even then I knew that Central was Flash’s turf. This was his city. These people were his people. And unlike us with the people of Gotham everyone that has ever taken a step in Central loved this guy. Even Bruce seemed to like him to some minuscule extent, which was a feat in itself. Of course there was the fact that they were in the League together so that probably helped the guy out when it came to getting on Bruce’s good side. So, given the fact that we were chasing one of our rogues in his city a team up had been bound to happen. I fully expected it. What I didn't expect was the older ginger haired boy in the colored reversed costume. The guy was so full of excitement, so full of personality. He would be next to you one second and then the next something would catch his eye. Often before you had time to even think of an answer to the questions he had just bombarded you with.

“Sorry about that.” The Flash said in an almost sheepish tone, “He still hasn't adjusted to the whole time distortion thing yet. The old man said it might take some more time. Like a few days or something.” The crimson clad man explained to which Bruce, or more correctly at the moment Batman, gave a nod showing he understood. I however did not understand in the slightest.

“What do you mean by time distortion?” I had asked.

“Huh? Oh, it’s a speedster thing. It’s kinda hard for non-speedsters to really comprehend.” The man said with an apologetic smile, “But basically it-”, before he could finish a cold gust of air passed and the other boy was now standing in front on me again.

“Whatcha say your name was again? I kinda forgot.” The older boy said with a laugh.

“You never gave me a chance to tell you.” I pointed out. He only chuckled in response.

“Well, here’s your chance! So tell me ‘fore I get bored!” He said with a big goofy lopsided grin.

“Robin.” I said bluntly.

“Robin.”, he repeated as if testing it out. Apparently he didn’t like it in full. “Well c’mon Rob! We got a baddy to stop!”, he said as he grabbed my arm and ran off, dragging me behind him. Not at superspeed but at a velocity that caused me to trip every few steps.

“H-hey!” The only reply my sorta scream for help got was a hearty chuckle from The Flash. I didn’t learn that the boy dragging me by my arm called himself “Kid Flash” until about an hour later. By the end of the day the four of us had caught Lady Shiva and I had met the person who would become my best friend. The person who I’d grow to consider a big brother.

**July 8, 2016**

After I was safe in my own home and I knew the door was locked, I just collapsed in a heap right next to the door. Then I started crying my heart out until I lost consciousness. When I woke up on the floor I just started to sob again.

**August 17, 2010**

I didn’t expect to be hiding from the team that day. I didn’t expect to be silently balling my eyes out in the storage room. Today had started out so normal. So happy and peaceful. One of those days where it looked like nothing could go wrong. Of course it had to have been a movie that set me off.

It was one of those days at the mountain where Aqualad had decided everyone should participate in a “team bonding exercise.” I of course understood the reasons behind the decision. The older boy wanted to do something that involved Superboy being social. That and he had a misguided belief that this would somehow help lower the hostile air that Artemis and KF had at the time.

“So... what are we going to do?” The Boy of Steel asked gruffly.

“Oh, I know! Let’s all watch a movie!” Miss M said excitedly, “My uncle J’onn dropped off a bunch for me a few days ago!”, Superboy had flinched somewhat when M’gann mentioned her good relationship with her uncle.

“I’ll go get them!” She practically squealed as she flew off. KF laughed at her enthusiasm. He had been the sort of person who could have a bad day turn into a good one just from hearing a friend laugh. She returned with a bunch of VHS tapes and a few DVD’s and placed them on the floor.

“Haven’t seen one of these in a while.” Artemis said with a small grin as she picked up one of the tapes.

“Oh, let’s watch this once.” M’gann insisted as she handed Artemis a tape. She only rolled her eyes.

“A Disney movie? Really?” Artemis asked unenthused.

“Yeah! I hear they’re really good.” The martian said happily.

“Alright then.” Artemis surrendered. Although the tone in her voice said she was anything but happy about it.

“Disney not your cup of tea?” I had asked her with a quirked eyebrow. The only response she would give me was a grunt of sorts. I was use to those types of responses what with having Batman as a parent and all.

“Which one is it?” Wally asked no one in particular.

“The Lion King.” Artemis answered bluntly. Wally paled instantly. No one but me, and maybe Aqualad, noticed.

“Oh, is it?” He said with a smile. A fake smile. The one that you’d only be able to notice if you were a psychologist or really, really close to him. Even then you might miss it, but I didn’t. Not this time. Neither did Aqualad for that matter.

“Is that a problem my friend?” The oldest boy of our group asked.

“No, no, no.” He falsely attempted to assure the semiaquatic teen as his eyes quickly dashed between me and Aqualad. “It’s just my buddy Tric-err James has made me watch this one, like over a dozen times.” He said hurriedly with a half hearted chuckle. “There any other movies we could watch Megs?”

“Well, yeah but this is the only Disney film I have right now.” She said glumly.

“Your heart is really set on “the magic of Disney”, isn’t it?” Artemis chuckled sarcastically to which Miss M nodded. “Alright than Baywatch here can deal with having to watch it one more time.”, she smiled. The smile had turned into an all out smirk when Wally shot her a dirty look. It took a little bit to get going. First off Superboy, Aqualad and I had to go into the kitchen to make three big bowls of popcorn. Two for Wally and one for the rest of us. Meanwhile Artemis showed Miss M just how she was suppose to use the VCR. Wally just sat there, tapping his foot as he waited. Finally when we were all in our chosen spots, M’gann and I on the floor, Superboy on the far left of the couch while Artemis was on the far right, and Aqualad who had wisely sat between Wally and Artemis. But that wouldn’t have mattered. Wally had been too tense to pick a fight let alone push her buttons.

Secretly, I was excited. I had never gotten the chance to see the movie myself. Bruce wouldn’t let me. “It’s a Disney movie with talking fricken lions! It can’t be that bad.” I would often laugh. As the movie started I noticed at some point or another that Wally had let Superboy eat some of his popcorn and that he himself wasn’t even touching the stuff. I also noticed that he kept looking at me, eyes constantly darting between me and the television. During one of the brief moments in which I had caught him looking at me I had found an expression that rarely crossed his face. The same expression Alfred would adopt whenever he was worried about either me or Bruce. It wasn’t until we had gotten a bit more into the movie that I’d find out why.

All of our reactions were different. Superboy, who actually seemed to have enjoyed the movie up till that point, had adopted the look of a kicked puppy. Aqualad had a frown on his face. Artemis seemed to not care at all... That or she had a really good poker face. Next to me M’gann looked as if she would burst into tears at any moment. Wally, Wally was watching me as I was staring blankly at the TV. I had completely froze when Mufasa was thrown off of the cliff by Scar. I had watched him fall, and fall, and fall. All the the while my worst memory played out in my head. It wasn’t when Simba found Mufasa’s dead body did I have trouble breathing, and it was when Scar told the cub to run I had stood up abruptly.

“Rob?” He asked with worry sprinkled in his voice.

“Gotta piss.” I said as bluntly as possible before hurrying off.

“Ugh, TMI dude!” Artemis called after me. I ignored her. All I knew was that I had to get out of there and find somewhere small and dark to hide. Somewhere safe. I knew what would happen next. KF would give it a few minutes. Then he’d tell the others he needed to stretch his legs and then come find me. And he did. Somehow I had wormed my way between two crates in the storage room. He was crouching down so he could get a better look at me.

“Richard,” He said as quietly as humanly possible, “come on out.”, he finished in an almost parental tone. Despite myself I slowly left my hiding spot. Despite that I was thirteen, and that I lived in Gotham, and that was I trained by frickin Batman, I came out and I had hugged him and started to sob into his shoulder the second he was within arms length. Despite myself I wanted my big brother to magically make everything better.

“Wanna go get some ice cream, pal?” He asked with a warm smile. I nodded, and as always when we went somewhere together, he gave me a piggyback ride and ran.

 

**February 14, 2008**

This was the day of our third meeting. It was also the day we started the habit of piggyback rides.

“What’s it like? When you run I mean.” I had asked while we sat atop some roof of some business that neither of us really cared about.

“Well, it’s all blurred but still clear. I see everything at the same time but it’s kinda like I never actually get a full picture. Everyone are like statues but still full of life.” He rambled. I could only give him a confused look. Seriously, what the heck was that suppose to mean? He seemed to notice and stood up. “You stand up too!” He said excitedly. I did as told and waited for him to tell me what to do next. “Now hop on my back!” He commanded.

“What?” I asked flatly as I tilted my head to the side.

“I can show you what it’s like. I just have to give you a piggyback ride is all!” He explained. Before I could even think of willingly doing so he had somehow gotten me on his back and ran off the roof and down the side of the building. And it was awesome! To be able to travel that fast, even if it was only for a little bit, was more than exhilarating. And fun! It was so fun! After that I accepted every time he offered and I myself would often ask. As silly as it sounds it was this “game” that we played that helped us become real friends.

**July 7, 2016**

At some point during the night before I had managed to crawl into bed. I had just wanted to lay there and waste away but a familiar beeping of my phone got my attention. I turned it on to look at the message. More correctly messages. I had about thirty, most of which were probably messages from my worried friends and family. The newest of which was from Tim. Whenever I thought of Tim and the kid wasn’t actually nearby I ended up thinking of Jason. Now I’d just end up thinking about Wally as well. So with bitterness and self loathing I uttered the only words I would speak aloud that day, “I’m the worst brother to ever exist.”

**December 22, 2012**

Batman caught some kid trying to steal the tires off of the Batmobile.

**December 26, 2012**

Jason Todd, the tire thief, is enrolled in a school for troubled youth with a scholarship from Bruce.

**December 27, 2012**

Wally confides in me that he’s thinking about quitting the superhero business. “Just until I get through college.” He had said. I knew it was a lie.

**December 31, 2012**

Headline in one of the more family friendly, but still not child safe, Gotham news papers said, “Woman Dies From Overdose/Step-Son Orphaned.” The more the article went on the more it revealed Jason’s background. His biological mother had abandoned him and his father when he was five. Jason’s father remarried two years after and was killed by Two-Face four days before his thirteenth birthday. This had left Jason with a drug abuser as his guardian.

**January 7, 2013**

Bruce adopts Jason and I gained my first younger brother.

**January 12, 2013**

Jason and I get in our first fight. The little shit had started a fight with me for no reason and he actually expected to win. Although, I will admit he actually managed to hit me good in the gut. Eventually Bruce broke it up and tells me I should leave for a while. As stupid as it sounds, I had never felt so betrayed by him.

**January 13, 2013**

Wally found me and dragged me back to Wayne Manor. Luckily, we weren’t really keeping the fact that he knew who I was a secret anymore, so we didn’t have to deal with that can of worms. As soon as Wally saw Alfred he had left me there so he could go eat half the food from our fridge. As soon as he turned the corner Alfred had started lecturing me about how Jason had a very troubled background and therefore had a lot of issues that he would need all of our help to work through. He then went on about how Jason needed us to be patient with him. In my head I was thinking “Fucking bullshit!”, but said aloud “Yeah. Sure. Okay.”, and then walked off to go keep Wally from eating the stir fry I had in the fridge.  
I stopped just short of entering the room when I heard my brothers talking to eachother.

“So your name’s Wally?”, Jason asked.

“Yup, and I assume you’re Jason.”, He said already knowing the answer. “You got a pretty nasty shiner there. Your brother give it to you?”

“Kinda. I think I might have been asking for it.”, Jason explained. Something in the tone of his voice… Something about the way he was so willing to except that it could have been his fault… It made me feel inhumanly guilty.

“Shit, I gave you blackeye?!”, I exclaimed as I finally rounded the corner.

“Ugh! Um, you didn’t mean to so-”, Jason had visibly shrunk into his chair as he started talking.

“Doesn’t make it right.”, I said quickly before he could finish. I knew Jason came from and abusive home so we had to establish that household violence was bad and that, minus their argument from the night before, it wouldn’t be happening here. At least that’s what I had thought Black Canary would tell me had I gone to talk to her about this whole mess. And with that assumption I knew that I was at least partially in the wrong.

“Seriously Dick, why do you have to be such a dick?”, Wally joked in an attempt to lighten the mood. It worked as he managed to get the gruff boy to laugh. As the night wore on Wally had gotten Jason to talk about his school life and his interests. Most of his interests sounded illegal and it also sounded like he was being bullied at school. I had said nothing though and continued eating my reheated stir fry as I noticed that their shared red hair and green eyes made them look more like brothers than I’d ever look standing next to either of them.

**January 14, 2013**

On this day Jason got beat up at school… badly . Apparently, because he was a ginger. That’s it. That’s all it took for one of those little bastards to try and hurt another kid. As I sat in the limo with Jason and Bruce I couldn't help but wonder if Wally ever had to deal with something like this and just never told anyone. I doubted it, and still doubt it, though. Wally wasn’t really a person who took anyone else’s shit and could be really fucking scary when he wanted to be. Jason sighed dragging me out of my thoughts. I looked over at him as he sat next to Bruce. Bruce patted the the top of his head in attempt to make Jason feel better. It was hard to tell if it was working or not.

Despite popular belief Bruce was, and is, an amazing parent. He knew what to say or do to get anyone on the team out of their funk. He really was like a surrogate father to anyone who joined the team. He had even offered to adopt Zatanna while basically revealing our secret identities to her. She had declined though, much to his disappointment. He really did believe she needed a father figure but realized that all the love the team was heaping on her at the time would most likely work better. Luckily it did. Another sigh from Jason had once again broke me from my thoughts.

When I looked at him, he looked back with those green eyes. They were a really pale green, especially compared to Wally’s. They were also sad, lost, and angry. All the things that could only be rarely found in my older brother’s eyes. It was only then did I actually realize what look he was giving me. It was the same look I would give Wally back before the rest of the team knew my name. Whenever a certain topic we were all talking about had somehow gotten to close to my past. The look that told someone “Say something. Anything. Please.”, but no matter what I did I couldn’t think of anything to say to my new little brother. I remember wishing Wally had been there. He would have known what to say. He was the one who already knew how to be a big brother

The second Alfred parked the car Jason had grabbed his bag and made a mad dash towards the manor. It took us a long time to find him. He had retreated to one of the many bathrooms and locked himself in there. By the time he came out he looked completely different. His hair was black, just like mine and Bruce’s. Instead of saying anything to us he went to his room and fell asleep. We found a hair dye pack on the ground and figured he pocketed it off of some unsuspecting person at some point. To my knowledge no one bullied Jason afterwards.

**January 17, 2013**

I had woken up to the sound of excited barking and laughter. Which was odd. When I went downstairs to investigate I found Jason playing tug of war with a young black Great Dane. Before I could even utter a “what” Alfred had walked over to me and gave me a scrap piece of paper. It read as such,

_“Dear, dickwad. To you and the tough guy I have gifted you a gift. You both have to share. If you don’t I’ll personally come over and knock your heads together. From, your totally awesome big brother. -WRW”_

“He “gifted us gift” did he?” I asked no one in particular as I watched Jason play with the dog with a smirk on my face.

“Can we name ‘im Ace?” Jason begged with a big grin on his face. This was the happiest Alfred and I have ever seen the kid up till that point.

“Sure.” I said. This caused Jason to laugh happily which subsequently caused the dog, Ace, to jump on him.

July 8, 2016

I had gone to the bathroom and when I came back out there was a big white very familiar dog sitting on my couch. He had a note tied to his collar. It read as such,

_“I’m sorry but I just can’t take care of him anymore. I left a bag of things you’ll need in your kitchen. Again, I’m sorry. -Artemis”_

“Well Brucely,” I said said as I looked at the pitbull, “I guess it’s just you and me.”, in response the big guy whimpered. “Poor thing,”, I had thought, “first Artemis leaves for months, then she comes back only for Wally to… to-”

“I’m sorry fuzzball.” I said as I hugged the dog and started crying. I figured Brucely must have been of the forgiving sort since he started to lick my face. “It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault.”, and repeated myself for what felt like hours.

**November 11, 2011**

It was no secret to the team that Wally had a love for dogs. In fact he had almost gotten crushed saving a Beagle from a falling building once. Anyway, the whole team had pitched in some money so he could finally have a dog of his own. To say that he was happier than a kid in a candy store would be an understatement. We ended up in a pet store within Happy Harbor and now we were all looking at the potential dogs Wally could get. All of us started pointing out dogs we thought would suit him. It was kinda hard to make our choices known though as all the puppies running around in their small kennel room were incredibly loud. We probably spent half an hour trying to help him decide but in the end all it took was Artemis pointing her finger at a small dopey looking white puppy that was jumping and barking and scratching the glass between us and him.

“What about this guy?” She chuckled.

“I think he’ll do.” Wally said with a wide grin on his face. After the adoption was official we had all gone to a local ice cream shop.

“So, whatcha gonna name this little guy.”, Rocket asked as she put a bowl of vanilla ice cream on the ground for the little ball of fur to eat.

“Hmm,” Wally hummed as he scratched his chin. Then he looked at me very briefly and laughed, “how about Brucely!”, it wasn't a question. This was now the dogs name. And he had named the dog after my adoptive father purely to piss me off.

“What kind of name is that?” Rocket laughed.

“I don’t know, why don’t you ask bird for brains over there?” He suggested and it took everything I had not to throw my milkshake at his face when everyone turned towards me for an answer.

“You fucking troll!” I laughed.

“I know you are but what am I?” He countered childishly.

**February 4, 2013**

I changed my alias to Nightwing and Jason took the name Robin.

**February 11, 2013**

Jason and I went on our first, and only, solo mission together. Surprisingly we had a really fun time.

**February 14, 2013**

This is around the time where people put me on some sort of glorified pedestal and started telling Jason he’d never be as good a Robin as I was. Like an idiot I didn't stand up for him.

**February 23, 2013**

Jason’s behavior towards criminals started to become more violent around this time. Bruce and Alfred became increasingly worried. When I asked Wally what to do he had told me that “Jaybird is his own person do he’s the only one in control of his actions. All we can do is trust that he ain't gonna go “too far”. You know?”

**February 28, 2013**

Jason and I got in a big argument. He threw a punch, I restrained myself.

**March 6, 2013**

Jason started going to Black Canary for therapy. He skipped most of his sessions. I asked Wally what I should do and he said the last thing that should be done is to force anything on the kid. That would just make him rebel more. I’m sure he was referencing The Team with that statement.

**March 12, 2013**

I decided to be an idiot and not pay attention to Jason at all. It only served to make him act out more. Wally smacked me upside the head when he found out and Artemis laughed as he did it.

**March 13, 2013**

I tried to apologize to Jason. He wouldn’t even acknowledge that I was there. Instead he just started hitting the punching bag harder.

**March 27, 2013**

I started making it a habit to patrol Blüdhaven around here. Sometimes Wally and Artemis helped out a on weekends.

**March, 30, 2013**

Jason breaks a drug dealers arm when he finds out the scum bag was selling to some of the kids that he went to school with. He then found and broke the supplier’s hands. Bruce finally puts him on temporary suspension.

**April 11, 2013**

Batman, Robin and I work with Flamebird and Batwoman for the first time.

**July 6, 2013**

Jason gets really sick and is forced to stay home. Bruce’s parental instincts apparently kicked in again so he skipped patrol for the night. Just so he could take care of Jason.

**July 7, 2013**

Wally started calling Bruce “Daddy Bats” much to his displeasure and my complete and utter amusement.

**July 18, 2013**

Jason kills a serial rapist by throwing him down a flight of stairs but not before turning the guy into a bloody mess. The girl Jason had saved was utterly terrified of him. Bruce insisted that Jason couldn’t have done it on purpose. Jason fell into some bizarre emotional state that fused denial and pride together.

**July 20, 2013**

I confided in Wally that I thought Jason was a lost cause. He just stared blankly out the window. He seemed disappointed in me.

**July 23, 2013**

Wally, at some point between the time that I talked to him and this day, had convinced Jason to start actually attending his therapy sessions. When Canary asked why he had a sudden change of heart she was probably expecting him to say he felt extremely guilty over what he had done. Instead he had told her that “I have someone who believes I can be an awesome “good guy”. He said I can become a hero like Bru-er-Batman if I learn to control my anger. I want to prove him he’s right!”

**August 16, 2013**

Jason’s fourteenth birthday. Shocking as it may sound, everything went great.

**August 20, 2013**

Canary told Bruce and I that Jason was making real progress. We didn’t need her to tell us that though. We could see ourselves because of all the smiles that had been showing up on the Jason’s face and the lack of criminals in the emergency room

**October 10, 2013**

Jason found out his biological mother was still alive while on a mission with Bruce.

**October 12, 2013**

The Joker killed Jason, his mother, and multiple other people. The world had felt as though it stopped moving, and Bruce went into a state of deep depression. He blamed himself entirely. He was in such a state of depression that I had to handle all the funeral plans. Meanwhile, Wally and Artemis had deal with me sobbing loudly between them as they hugged me for the following two months. Wally was unnaturally quiet the whole time.

**September 6, 2013**

Some other vigilante, I’m not sure who, tried to imply that Jason’s death was his own fault. The guy ended up in the Watch Tower infirmary.

**January 4, 2015**

Tim Drake came tumbling into my little Bat-Family’s life.

**March 5, 2015**

Tim takes on the title of Robin

**December 10, 2011**

Something, no one is sure what, caused Zatanna to remember her father. She couldn’t help but to start crying. Everyone tried to cheer her up with words and promises to do something fun or cool with her. Everyone but Wally. Wally knew how to council upset orphans thanks to his time with me. So he turned his “big brother powers” to the the max and… let her cry on his shoulder while he hummed something that could have been a lullaby. And that was the first time the rest of the team saw him when he was in his parental state of mind.

**May 22, 2008**

By now I had lost track of how many times we met up. All I really knew was that it was a rare occurrence for us to meet in either of our cities. That day we had somehow ended up in town called Blue Valley. If I’m honest I still have no clue what state the rural town is in. In fact we didn’t even have a reason to be here. The Flash had just brought me here, with Batman’s permission of course, on a whim. There was virtually nothing to do here. Therefor I had gotten bored. Therefore I started to think. Therefore my thoughts started to travel into less than pleasant territory. Sad territory. So I sat there on the grassy hill as I watched The Flash chat it up with some locals quite a bit away.

“What’s wrong?” I heard Kid Flash’s voice ask. I only looked up at him and shrugged. “Are you thinking about someone you used to know?” He asked in an near innocent manner.

“How’d you know?” I asked him genuinely curious.

“You just looked really sad. That and my friends Francis looks like that whenever she thinks about her dad.” He informed me in an almost matter of fact tone as he sat down next me. “Are you gonna be okay?” Wally asked looking nothing but concerned.

“I’m fi-”, but he cut me off before I could finish.

“Don’t just say you are ‘cause I know what that means. It means you're letting yourself cry on the inside ‘cause you think no one can see past your mask. And I don’t mean the mask on your face. My buddies, Francis, James and Hartley all do this kind of thing a lot. Don’t lie.” He said so suddenly that it had left me completely shocked.

“I-I-I…”, then I gasped trying to hold back tears, “I miss my parents.”, I finally choked out in a weak voice. Wally’s expression changed multiple times. First it was shock, then it was pity, then guilt, then sadness, and finally he had a warm, understanding smile. Then he hugged me. After I had calmed down he helped me stand up.

“Stupid. Hugs are for girls.” He looked at me with a confused look for about a nanosecond and then started to laugh like a mad man.

**June 3, 2008**

“Can I tell you a secret?”, Wally asked me as we sat on a Gotham rooftop, waiting for Batman’s signal. His smile far too energetic and innocent for a vigilante.

“Sure.”, I said excitedly. I loved when we got to learn more about each other. It made our friendship seem more real. Back then I was desperate to keep him as a friend. I just didn’t get along with civvie kids. So, when he leaned forward and whispered quietly into my ear I was flabbergasted at the trust behind his words.

“My name is Wally West.” I just stared at him in shock. Then a smile crept on my face and I whispered my own secret in his ear.

“My name is Dick Grayson.” I didn’t care if I got in trouble with Bruce later. Wally was my best friend, and at the time, my only friend. In fact he was one of my only friends at the time, and not only that but he’s the closest thing I’ve ever had to a brother by that point in my life.

**February 3, 2011**

“But what if I do become like him?!”, I practically screeched, “Don’t get me wrong! I love Bruce he’s the best dad I could ever hope for, but he gets so cold and calculating when where on missions! Like it’s a chess game!”

“Dick, calm down . It’s fine.”, He said. Trying to put a parental arm around my me only to have it shaken off. We were in the storage room again. It was one of the only safe places in the mountain for my “freak outs.”

“No! It’s not okay! What I pulled today was just wrong!”, I cried.

“Rob!”, he shouted startling me, “You will never become like him.”, he said in the most reassuring voice I had ever heard. And I believed him.

**March 24, 2016**

It wasn’t until we met at The Hall Of Justice. It wasn’t until he had shoved me into the chair. It wasn’t until he called me out on all my bullshit did I realize what had happened to me. I became a chess master. I used my friends as pawns and barely saw them more than tools. I might have potentially sent them to their death. I had become worse than Bruce could ever be. More obsessed over The Light, and the invasion, than Bruce would have ever gotten. Not only that but for all I knew at the time Wally might have had a point. Kal could have been a triple agent. I’m so stupid. I’m so stupid. I’m so stupid.

It wasn’t until Wally walked out, calm yet terrifyingly angry, did I realize two more things. The first being that he was right all those years ago. I hadn’t become Bruce, I had become worse than Bruce. The second thing I realized as the robotic voice announced his departure, was that I may have very well just lost my best friend.

**July 9, 2016**

It didn’t take long for my annoying as all hell landlord to find out about Brucely. My neighbor tends to tell the old fart everything he sees. You know, like the schoolyard snitch that everyone hates. Well, I guess Artemis didn’t try to be discreet at all when she abandoned her dog in my apartment and said neighbor happened to see. In the end I had to bribe my landlord with over five hundred dollars in order to keep him from calling animal control.

**July 15, 2016**

Brucely had been a life saver. Considering I had basically given up on heroics the dog gave me something to do. He needed constant walks or else he’d become a nervous train wreck and start peeing everywhere. That or he’d get bored and start chewing on my things. He also needed constant affection and love. Basically Brucely was the exact opposite of Wolf or Ace, both of whom weren’t very dependent on their humans.

The furball was actually pretty smart for the most part. He realized that the amount of dings the elevator made told him how soon or how long it would take to get from the ground floor to the top floor, and vice versa. He’d even bark just before we got to the respective floors. Of course this had managed to scare a few people in the complex who just happened to be waiting for the elevator on the either floor. This day was different however. After we finished our walk around the near by park the furball had started to act all antsy. As soon as we got in the elevator he started whimpering, and when the elevator door opened the dog bounded out causing me to loose my grip on his blue leash. Luckily he only ran to my apartment door and began scratching at it. Of course this meant someone was in my apartment but given Brucely’s reaction I figured whoever this person was he, or she, were most likely a friend rather than a foe. So I got my key out and opened the door. To my surprise Bart Allen, with a tear stained face, was sitting on my couch.

**March 10, 2016**

To my surprise Bart Allen, with a tear stained face, was sitting on my couch. However once I completely registered that, yes I had an upset time traveling relative of Wally sitting on my couch, my mind immediately caught up with my thoughts and I realized what must have happen. “So,”, I began awkwardly, “having trouble with Wally.” The only reply I got was a sniff and a nod. Despite him being a good person, despite how much I looked up to him, despite how much he’s helped me, I could recognize that Wally West wasn’t perfect. That, like every other person in this world, Wally West had flaws. One of his more obvious flaws was his tendency to stick his foot in his mouth every other time he talked. His least obvious would be any and all, usually pointless, insecurities he had.

Wally was good at playing the clown. No one but those closest to him ever realized when the jokes were meant to legitimately make others laugh or if he was just covering up his own feeling behind a smile. His oddest flaw, which also happened to be one of his greater strengths, was his scientific mind. His need to discover and understand had gotten him, and the whole team for that matter, in trouble more times than I can willingly count. Then of course there was his most frustrating flaw. That being his issue with new people. When it comes to first meetings it’s really important to not get on his bad side or else he’d probably act like a complete jerkass for the next couple of weeks until he got used to you. And he clearly passed judgment on Bart, deeming him annoying most likely. He had done the same to Artemis believing she was stuck up but he clearly warmed up to her after some time. It was then that it occurred to me that he had also done this to Aqualad as well. Wally had simply warmed up to the Atlantian much quicker than other people so no one really noticed his sour attitude.

“I… I um,”, Bart stuttered.

“Take your time.”, I said as I sat next to him. After a few moments of opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish he managed to say something.

“Does Wally hate me?”, he asked in a tiny voice.

“No, no, no!” I shouted in a half panic, “He doesn’t… See with Wally it… Well, it takes him awhile to get used to people he’s just met. You just have to give it more time. Honest!”, I said as quickly as possible. Speedsters’ thought process was a lot faster than non-speedsters. So to let a speedster dwell on unpleasant thoughts for an extended period of time would be a relatively bad idea.

“More time? I’ve been here for what feels like forever…” The brunette muttered.

“I know.” I smiled while I lied through my teeth. It was a known fact that non-speedsters would never be able to understand how slow the world could be for speedsters. “He just needs a little more time to defrost, you know?”

The boy sniffed again before uttering a quiet, “Okay.” We sat together in silence for awhile until I asked him, “Do you want me to turn on the TV or something?”, to which he smiled.

**July 15, 2016**

When I had opened the door and saw Bart there I honestly had no clue as to what to say. Bart must not have expected me to appear right then as he frantically wiped at his face. He only stopped when Brucely started sniffing at his feet. Looking down at the white fluffball Bart moved his hands from his face he smiled.

“Hey there big guy. How are yuh?” Bart said as he scratched the ever loyal dog’s ears. I decided standing in the doorway in such an awkward fashion wouldn’t get us anywhere so I walked into my apartment, closing the door behind me, and sat next to Bart. Before I could say anything however Bart started talking.

“I went to their apartment to check on her, but I had no idea who the person who opened the door was. She sold it. No one knows where she is.” I stayed silent as I had a feeling Artemis would run and hide. Yet I didn't bother to reach out to her. She could be gone for good and I could have done something but I didn’t. I could’ve stopped him to if I had had enough foresight. If I had remembered how impulsive he could be. I didn’t, and now he’s gone.

Bart snapped me out of my thoughts with a scoff, “Whatever. It’s not like we needed her anyway, right?” The look in his eyes betrayed his true feelings. He got up and started walking towards the door. Before he left he looked over at me and said, “His funeral is on the twenty third. You know, in case you wanted to go.”

“Of course I’m going to go.”

**July 23, 2016**

I couldn't believe that she wasn't there. Out of all the things she could miss she chose this. At first I thought she was doing what most antisocial heroes do at funerals; Hide a mile away in some dark corner. I had searched for her with Jade. Yes, even Jade of all people came. Artemis however, did not, and that was in my mind absolutely unforgivable. I sat there in that horrible chair between my youngest brother and my oldest brother’s cousin. Tim was there for support, Bart was there to grieve. When they lowered the coffin, that bodiless empty coffin, into the earth someone behind me started crying. Which caused someone six seats over to start crying. Then Bart started crying and dear god I couldn't hold back the floodgates anymore, and dammit I looked back and saw not just Roy but also Kal crying and that just made everything feel worse. Soon everyone, even the most stonefaced vigilantes, were crying and holding onto each other like their lives depended on some form of contact with each other. Just to be sure that the person next to them wasn't going fade away into some shining light. During this I couldn't help but wonder if Wally knew how many people cared, because I had the sudden irrational fear that maybe we hadn't told him much we all loved him as much as we should of in order to crack a joke at his expense.


End file.
